I’ve been brewing a set of resolutions for a few weeks now. They’re deliberately not New Year resolutions, as I never manage to keep those. These are Friday 13th resolutions – the sort that come at you with a two-handed battleaxe if you so much as think of breaking them. With that in mind, I’ve tried to make sure they’re easy to keep, and I’ve decided to publish them here so there’s a permanent record of my optimism. If you notice me breaking one, feel free to clout me over the head.
1. Submit some poems for publication
Hopefully this one will be easy, as I’m currently doing the Nottingham Poetry Series manuscript preparation course, and part of the coursework is to submit at to least six individual publications and at least one pamphlet competition. The teacher gets very crabby if we don’t do our coursework…
2. Be nice to myself
Especially when I get floods of rejections from poetry journals… Seriously though, I have to start living by the rule “I will be good enough most of the time, better than good enough a lot of the time, and crap some of the time. And that’s OK.” I’ve spent most of my life expecting nothing less than the best I’m capable of at all times, beating myself up when I don’t manage it and not feeling proud of myself when I do. It took a lot of cognitive behaviour therapy for the idiocy of that to sink in.
3. Lose some weight
I’m heavier now than I’ve ever been – even when I was pregnant. That is Not Good. So I’m going to do something about it – eat sensibly and get some exercise. I’m not going on a diet, that doesn’t work for me. I’m just going to make sure I don’t stuff myself with crisps and biscuits when I’m bored (not getting bored might be a good start, I guess). And I’ve just joined the University sports centre, and arranged to play badminton on Sunday afternoon. I know that’s going to hurt. Hopefully it’ll be fun too.
4. Sort my house out
It’s a mess. No, not that sort of mess. A real mess. I have stuff piled up all over the place, and it’s driving me mad. I tend to take up hobbies, get loads of bits and pieces related to those hobbies, and then stop doing them but keep all the bits and pieces just in case. I also have far too many books. YES, I did say I HAVE FAR TOO MANY BOOKS! I am going to throw away, give away or sell anything I no longer need, and make some space in my house where I can work (i.e. not on the collapsing sofa in front of the tv).
5. Spend more time with the hairy brats
They’ll be leaving home soon… (hoorah? sniff sob? can’t decide!)
6. BLOODY RELAX, WOMAN!*
I’m getting horrendous stress headaches once or twice a month at the moment. My back and shoulder and neck muscles tense up like you wouldn’t believe, which leads to the top of my head exploding and shooting pains behind my left eye. This lasts for 3 or 4 days, which is how long it takes me to un-tense myself. #2 hairy brat’s elbows are the only things so far** that can get anywhere near untying the knots. It would be much easier if I didn’t get so tense in the first place – I don’t know why it’s happening, I’m not feeling particularly stressed these days…
* what my ex shouted at me in ante-natal classes when the relaxation exercises weren’t working.
** apart from Laressa Dickey’s massages, but she lives in Portugal.
